I've discovered my spouse has been secretly sending a significant portion of our joint savings to their struggling family without discussing it with me; do I confront them directly, risking a major conflict, or try to understand their motives first?

Mohamed Cano

Mohamed Cano

Confront immediately6 votes (23%)
Seek understanding first7 votes (27%)
Consult a therapist7 votes (27%)
Monitor spending closely6 votes (23%)

26 votes total • Created 1/5/2026

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I've discovered my spouse has been secretly sending a significant portion of our joint savings to their struggling family without discussing it with me; do I confront them directly, risking a major conflict, or try to understand their motives first? | asQkme